


McHogwarts

by MemeFucker32



Series: wizard man take me by the hand [1]
Category: Keeping Up With The MemeFuckers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F, kill me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 18:32:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14699856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemeFucker32/pseuds/MemeFucker32
Summary: OOGH KILL ME





	McHogwarts

Platform nine-and-three-quarters was bursting with activity, as it always was this time of year. Returning students ran around with trolleys and parents in tow, excitedly chattering about their summers. Owls hooted as their cages rattled, and a cat yowled as a third year chased their toad across the platform, their friends cheering as the student triumphantly thrust the unhappy looking toad into the air, face flushed with victory.

Then there were the first years, clustered next to the Hogwarts Express as their parents fussed. Snatches of conversation could be heard from the families:

“Remember to write, ok? We didn’t get you that owl for nothing-”

“I want to go too!”

“Wait your turn, you’ve got another year to go-”

“Are you sure you want to name your toad that?”

“Yes!”

“Well, ok then-”

“Remember to feed him, and brush him every once in awhile.”

“I think you’re more concerned about the cat than me, Mom.”

The train whistle bellowed suddenly, the remaining students rushing onto the train at the sound. Students hastily conducted last minute bag checks as they scrambled to grab a compartment. Goodbyes were shouted out of the windows as the train began to pull out of the station. When the station finally disappeared from view, the students turned their attention inward- to old friends, new adventures, and the great unknown that was Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
-0-  
Angela and Lexus walked down the hall of the Hogwarts Express, occasionally stopping to listen for an empty compartment. They paused outside of a compartment near the back and listened outside the door for a moment, Lexus struggling briefly with the kitten in her arms.

“Ack!” Lexus hissed as the kitten playfully bit at her fingers. “Stop, stop that-!”  
Angela snickered. “I think this one is empty. Come on,” she said as she slid open the door. The duo paused in the doorway, blinking at the girl sitting in the corner of the compartment. The orange cat that had been curled at her side startled at the sound of the door, its tail puffing gently before smoothing out again. The three girls remained like that for a beat or two, when the awkward tension was broken by the kitten in Lexus’ arms mewling loudly and squirming out of her grip. Lexus and Angela turned to each other. Lexus shrugged as if to say, whatever, before slinging her bag off her shoulder and into the overhead compartment. Angela followed suit, sprawling with the shorter girl in the seats opposite the other occupant, whose cat was now regarding Lexus’ kitten with suspicion.

“Can I have your cat?” Angela said suddenly, pointing at the girl’s cat, who had been coaxed onto the floor by the white kitten.

“Um. What?”

Angela waved a hand at Lexus. “I ask her all the time and she never says yes, so can I have yours?”

“What- no!” The girl frowned. “I’m not going to give you my cat, I don’t even know your name.”

“Angela Pak,” she said promptly. “Now can I have your cat?”

The girl stuttered uncertainly before Lexus cut her off. “Ignore her,” she said, making Angela pout. “Like she said, she’s asked me that about a hundred times. I’m Lexus Lyons.” Lexus pointed towards the kitten. “That’s Candy.”

“Uh, I’m Mandi. Hill. That’s Rod.”

“What house do you think you’re going to be put in?” Lexus continued. “I mean, I’ll probably be in Slytherin. Most Lyons are.”

“Oh, so your parents went to Hogwarts too?” When Lexus nodded, Mandi turned to Angela. “Did yours?”

“My mom did,” she answered. “My dad’s a Muggle.”

“Mine are both Muggles,” Mandi said absently, watching the cats playfight on the floor of the compartment. “They were pretty surprised when the letter came.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Mandi looked surprised, so Lexus explained. “I didn’t recognize your name.”

“Oh,” Mandi said. “So you know a lot of other wizards then?”

“A few. Angela, of course, and my cousin Ty. Paige and Kacey as well.”

The three continued to talk until the door slid open, a cheerful-looking woman poking her head in.

“Anything from the trolley, dearies? We’ve got pumpkin pasties, every-flavor beans, chocolate frogs-”

She continued to list sweets as Angela and Lexus dug through their bags for money. They pointed out what was good to Mandi. The three girls spent the rest of the train ride chattering. 

  
-0-

Paige was trying to find an empty compartment, but that was a lot harder than it sounded when almost everyone else on the train was trying to do the same. She frowned slightly as she dodged a group of laughing sixth years who were spilling out of their compartment and into the hall.

She sighed in relief when she saw a closed door ahead Speeding up slightly, she reached for the door- only to knock into another hand doing the same thing.

Looking up, she saw a girl about her age standing in front of the door, a small kitten perched on her shoulder. Owliver fluttered in his cage when Paige flinched in surprise.

“Sorry! Were you going to take this one?” The girl asked. The kitten on her shoulder mewled indignantly, as if protesting its owner’s willingness to relinquish the compartment.

“Um, yeah. We could share it though. I mean, I don’t see many available compartments.”

The girl smiled. “Thanks! I’m Mindy, by the way. Mindy Thai.”

“Paige Mattos.” She replied, sliding open the door and dragging her luggage in. “This is Owliver.”

Mindy blinked. “Owliver?”

“Yeah,” Paige said, grinning. 

“Okay,” Mindy said slowly. “This is Eppie.” Mindy smiled proudly. “She’s a ragdoll.”

“What? I could’ve sworn it was a real cat,” Paige turned to inspect Eppie again. The cat yawned at her.

“Ragdoll is a breed of cat. It’s cause they go limp when you pick them up.” Mindy demonstrated by lifting the kitten off her shoulder. Sure enough, Eppie flopped in her arms.

The removal of the kitten from Mindy’s shoulder drew Paige's attention to the fact that- 

“Why are you already wearing your robes?”

“Why aren’t you?” Mindy frowned. “Aren’t robes required?”

“Yeah, but most people don’t change until we get closer to Hogwarts.” She shrugged. “At least, that’s what my mom said.”

“Your mom went to Hogwarts?”

By this time the two girls had sat down next to each other.

“Yeah. My dad’s a Muggle though. What about you?”

“Both my parents are Muggles. You’re the first witch I’ve met who’s my age. Do you know any?”

“A few. I know Lexus- she’s a pureblood, so basically her whole family went to Hogwarts. Her cousin Ty is in our year as well, and so is Angela, another half-blood.”

As they continued talking, Paige striving to answer Mindy’s questions about the wizarding world- of which there were many- the two girls found their smiles growing uncontrollably wide. They knew this was the start of an excellent friendship.

-0-

Leilani didn’t understand why it was so hard to find an empty compartment. It seemed like literally every compartment was taken! Squaring her shoulders, Leilani resolved to march into the next compartment she saw- occupied or not. 

As it turned out, opening a sliding door was a lot harder than it may seem when you were not only struggling to carry a trunk, but also trying to balance a cat- who was not very large, granted, but even a skinny cat was a challenge to carry when both hands were occupied.

“Do you need any help with that?” Leilani yelped, scrambling to keep ahold of her trunk. She managed that- though Clarence was not so lucky. He tumbled off Leilani’s shoulders and into the stranger’s arms.

The stranger in question was a girl who couldn’t have been much older than Leilani, though she was taller. Her most striking feature wasn’t her height, however- it was the wolf ears perched on top of her head, twitching slightly.

“I- your ears-!”

Looking surprised, the girl reached up to poke at the ears. “Oh! I kind of forgot they were still there,” she laughed. The ears shrunk back into her head. Leilani could now faintly see the outlines of round human ears beyond the girl’s dark hair.

Fumbling to heft her trunk into one hand, she held her hand out. “I’m Leilani,” she said. “Leilani Ngoap.” 

“Ashley Zhang.” The girl- Ashley- shook her hand, Clarence still cradled in one arm. “Do you still need help with the door?” she asked, reaching towards the handle. Before she could slide it open, however, it burst from the inside, a small girl spilling out, flailing in excitement. 

“Ashley! Did you get the snacks- Oh you’re right there,” the new girl laughed. She turned to Leilani, eyes sparking with curiosity. “Who’s this?”

“I’m Leilani.” She extended her hand again, the shorter girl shaking it with an exaggerated air of solemnity- only her still-sparkling eyes betrayed her. 

“Nancy Min.” Grinning, she turned to Ashley, tilting her head to stare up at her. “So how about those snacks?”

“Here,” Ashley said, holding up a bag filled with candies. 

“Great! C’mon, let’s eat!” Nancy bounced back into the compartment, Ashley close on her heels.

Feeling suddenly awkward, Leilani wondered if she was supposed to follow- Ashley did still have her cat. Summoning her courage, she stepped into the compartment.

“Here.” Suddenly Ashley was in front of her again, lifting the trunk out of her hands and into a corner of the compartment. Leilani glanced around for Clarence, spotting him curled next to a birdcage, the owl inside eyeing him curiously.

There was another girl sitting in the compartment, legs tucked under her as she deftly shuffled a deck of cards. The girl looked up, blinking in surprise at the new addition to their compartment.

“This is Leilani,” Nancy introduced as Ashley unceremoniously dumped the bag of sweets onto the seat. “Leilani, this is Kacey.”

“Hey.” Kacey greeted, twisting the deck in her hands and fanning the cards out. “You know how to play Exploding Snap?”

“Um,” Leilani replied, “No. Is it a card game?”

“The best card game,” Nancy answered. “Here, we’ll teach you.”

“How do you not know how to play? It’s a pretty popular game,” Ashley commented a few games in.

“Maybe in the wizarding world,” Leilani said. “My parents are Muggles, though.”

“Oh, that explains it,” Nancy said. “Me and Ashley, we’re both half-bloods. Kacey’s a pureblood though. You’d think that meant she’d be the best at Snap, but-”

“Shut up,” Kacey laughed. “It’s not my fault Ashley’s great at this game.”

They laughed, Nancy snatching another chocolate frog from the pile. She had just gotten it open when a clear voice sounded throughout the train.

“We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes’ time. Please leave your luggage on the train, it will be taken to the school separately.” 

“What was that?” Leilani asked as Ashley reached to steady her owl’s birdcage- whose name, Ashley had told her, was Senka.

“We’re here!” Kacey said, standing to peer out the window. “Here, we have to change into our robes, come on!”

-0-

The students bounded off the train, eager to stretch their legs and return to Hogwarts. The older kids immediately headed off in the direction of some carriages- which, oddly enough, seemed to be hitched to nothing- but the first years loitered near the train, unsure of where to go. That is, until-

“FIRST YEARS! FIRST YEARS, OVER HERE!”

A large man with a mane of a beard waved his arms in the air, bellowing for the first years to follow him. The children trailed awkwardly after him, looking like little black ducklings in their dark robes.

“Alright,” the man said, gruff but cheerful. “Four to a boat, come on!”

The first years obediently piled in, nervously trying to steady themselves as the small rowboats rocked.

“Don't worry about falling in- that's what the squid’s for!”

“The squid!?” Mindy hissed, gripping the sides of the boat. Eppie hunched in her lap, tail puffed up. The surrounding boats murmured in discontent.

“Quit it,” Paige hissed, “You’re scaring Owliver!”

However, the students’ nerves soon fell away as the boats began to drift across the lake of their own volition. There was a collective gasp as the castle loomed into view- lights shining warmly out of the windows and into the night. It seemed to exude an air of warmth- of home.

“Welcome,” the man said, voice filled with pride, “To Hogwarts!”

**Author's Note:**

> OOGH KILL ME


End file.
